Not as it seems
by Sweetlilloz
Summary: Why not it would put a end to you all ignoring me but don’t worry I get  it you’ve all got Ziva here now how dare I return and think you’d actually be grateful that I was alive, If it’ll make you all happy I’ll gladly do what Ari couldn’t,” Kate spat.


I wrote this on a really bad day it starts out angsty and mellows as I calmed down, so please don't be to harsh. _

* * *

_

_I hate my life every one always expects me to be the perfect one the one that is always happy that never wants to just run away and never come back_ Kate thought looking down at the scars on her arms, she didn't cut her self that would be too obvious for her line of work instead she dug her nails in some times to the point where she was bleeding. Kate looked over her computer and up to Tony, She glared at him the man had no problems, he was always smiling and he was always happy. One of these people who live in a world that nothing bad happens _which is ironic as he's one of them many people who has every right to hate the world for what it has done to him but he doesn't._ She thought again. He smiled at her she roll her eyes and got back to work. When she couldn't think she would dig her nails in. This time it drew blood. Kate got up and walk to the toilets. Washing her arm so the blood was no longer running down her arm. Walking out she saw Abby standing at her desk. _I can't put up with her chirpiness now_ Kate thought turning and heading to the fire escape, she made her way up to the roof. Looking out over the City the sight was breath taking she leant over the side and looked down. A while ago she got so pissed off she felt like jumping and ending it all. But Tony came out and put an end to that. Ever since then she'd not had the guts to do it, _but I could now just one jump and it would be over._

She turned around to see Tony come out the door. "What do you want?"

"To see if you're ok?"

"What do you care you don't have a care in the world why would you care about me I'm nothing to you, you've made that abundantly clear in the past. So what the hell do you want Tony before I do us all a favor and jump off this building," Kate turned back to look out over the city.

"You wouldn't do that," Tony walked up beside her.

"Why not it would put a end to you all ignoring me but don't worry I get it you've all got Ziva here now how dare I return and think you'd actually be grateful that I was alive, If it'll make you all happy I'll gladly do what Ari couldn't," Kate spat.

"What happened to you Kate?" Tony asked

"What happened to me? What happened is that a mad doctor held me captive for five years Anthony and only when Fornell and the rest of the FBI took him down did you even know I was alive. There wasn't one what she's alive? Or a single tear shed. There was just oh your alive well then sit on the other side of Gibbs and pretend nothing happened. I lost five years of my life Tony. For five years every night I'd pray you'd find me and when that door burst open I jumped up expecting you only to find Fornell. There was more emotion in that mans eyes when he saw me then there was with any of you when he bought me in."

"We thought you had died I had been there I saw it happen,"

"You saw what Ari wanted you to see a trick of the eye. He was going to kill every one I ever knew if I didn't go along with it. I thought you'd figure that out when you got a letter four years ago. When the return address had my name on it and it wasn't sent till six months after you thought you had buried me." Kate glared at him

"I thought it was something from Ari I threw it away." Kate rolled her eyes and walked away from him she should not have expected as much no one here cared what she had been through or what she went through every night.

"Kate wait," he grabbed her arm

"What for so you can look right through me again? No," she pulled her arm back and walked away.  
When she got to her desk she cleaned it out, and handed her gun and badge to Gibbs.

"What's this for?" He looked up at her a look of confusion on her face.

"I get it you have Ziva none of you want me here I should have just stayed dead to you all. Its not like any of you cared when you found out I was alive anyway," she walked away heading to the elevator.

"Agent Todd get back here,"

"I'm not your agent any more Gibbs I just quit,"

"I won't let you," Gibbs stood in front of her not letting her get into the open elevator.

"What you wanna keep me here and ignore me some more because that's all any of you do. I could have jumped off the roof before and none of you would have known. I don't mean as much to you any more you have a stronger better agent and your happy with that you only have me around because the more agents the better,"

"You and I both know that is a load of shit Kate,"

"Is it? Tell me ever asked Fornell what the first three words he said were when he found me….No? they were 'No Fucking Way' followed by 'I have to be dreaming'. With you it was 'badge, gun, desk, sit' see the difference and I hadn't worked with Fornell for two years. It took Tony three days to realize who I was three days Gibbs."

"That's no reason to leave," he folded his arms across his chest.

"You want a reason; every time you and your team has a case I'm left here. Every time. No Oi Todd get your but in here no asking me what I have found out I don't do anything all I do is sit there and think about what has happened in the last five years I can do that at home why the hell would I want to do that here with people who obviously don't give shit about me," a tear rolled down her cheek and she roughly wiped it away.

"I did what I thought was best."

"You thought it was best to let me sit there and think about how every day something didn't go right for Ari he'd come in a bash me. He bashed me so badly once I was in a coma for a year. Or how he made me listen to him plotting the deaths of you and your team, and how he came so close to doing it. If the FBI had not taken him down you would not be here today and I would still be stuck in that white windowless room with nothing but the two photos' I had with me one of Abby Tim, Tony and I and one of my family. You ow your life and the lives of the people on your team to the FBI because there wouldn't have been a way any of you would have survived what he was going to do to you," Gibbs could see she wasn't lying that she was telling the truth.

"What do want me to do what's done is done?"

"Just let me go," He shrugged and moved out of the way. She walked into the elevator and looked away as the doors closed.

* * *

Kate sat up opening her eyes. She looked around she was sitting the in back of a black SUV, in the front was Fornell. 

"I take it that wasn't a very good dream,"

"No it wasn't maybe we shouldn't do this,"

"They've missed you Kate," he said turning around to look at her, Kate couldn't meet his eyes and looked out the window

"Right, they'd have moved on forgotten all about me. That's NCIS,"

"Give them a little credit they might surprise you,"

"Whatever," Fornell shrugged and turned around. A few minutes later they pulled into the navy yard. He got out and opened the door for her. They walked through to the elevator, then waited for the level they wanted to arrive. The doors opened and Tobias Fornell walked out.

"What do you want now Tobias?" Gibbs got up they had just finished filing reports and were about to go home for the night.

"It's not so much as what you can do for me but what I can do for you," Gibbs rose and eyebrow Tony smirked and went to leave.

"This involves you as well Agent DiNozzo you as well Agent McGee." Tony looked over at Tim who shrugged.

"Come on Fornell just spit it out," Fornell turned and nodded. Three people started walking towards them Gibbs couldn't see the third properly.

"I'd sit down." The three men stayed where they were.

"Fine but I warned you," The two men parted leaving Kate standing there.

Tony's jaw dropped.

"Probie slap me," McGee slapped him.

"Ouch" he turned but Kate was still there.

"I have to be dreaming," he continually slapped himself.

"Tony you'll end up bashing your self up and you're not dreaming," Kate said walking over to him taking his hands in hers

"Hooooo-ly Shit. I have to get Abby," Tim ran over to the fire escape.

"What kind of joke is this Fornell?" Gibbs didn't look happy.

"No joke I was a surprised as you are when I opened a door to what I thought was a spare room and found Kate sitting in the corner,"

"But-

"Ari's sick joke," Kate supplied before Gibbs could ask the question.

"Eeek," Kate turned around to see Abby faint and Tim catch her. She looked at Tony who was walking around her.

"This has to be some trick or something…hologram maybe,"

"Do holograms do this?" she slapped him across the face.

"Ouch hey that was hard," Tony yelped then grinned wrapping his arms around Kate in a bear hug.

"About time DiNozzo," he laughed hugging her tighter. As he came back he smiled at her and almost tumbled back when she kissed him. He couldn't believe it Kate was kissing him Tony DiNozzo. One arm wrapped around her pulling her closer to him while the hand of his other arm rested on her cheek he'd never felt so much passion, intensity and lust in one kiss. He smiled as they came apart and looked into her eyes she smiled back resting her head on his.

"What was that for?"

"Two years of holding back and five years of tension," she said quietly. He laughed and kissed her again this one more tender and gentle. They came apart as Gibbs cleared his throat. Kate blushed slightly.

"Well I guess that, puts an end to whether or not you are Kate Todd." Tony pulled her into him his hand resting on her hip.

"I'm glad you're alive Kate,"

"I'm glad you all finally know I'm alive, and I'm glad to be out of that tiny room," suddenly Abby's arms were around her neck.

"Abby- Ab's, let go- can't breath," Abby let Kate out of the death grip she had on her, standing back to look at her friend. Her hair now came down her just above her belly button. It was all tatty she needed a good hair cut.

"I missed you so much. Don't ever go away ever again,"

"I'll try not to,"

"Where's uh Ziva isn't it?" Kate asked looking around

"How do you know about Ziva?" Tony asked

"Ari was plotting to kill you all he'd try and get me to help but I'd purposely slow him down. That's how I got most of my scars," Tony pulled her in front of him wrapping his arms around her waist. She smiled back at him and placed her hands over his.

"I think she's already gone home,"

"No I was ment to meet her for something to eat she wanted to tell me something and I think I know what, I think she's likes me."

"Tony gezz what's is with you and having your partners fall in love with you," Kate laughed and looked up as the elevator doors opened and Ziva walked out.

"Uh Tony I - oh hi," she stopped when she saw Kate her heart sunk when she saw his arms around her.

"Ziva I'd like to introduce you to Kate the women your brother held hostage for five years."

"Hi,"

"Hey, I think go home it was nice to meet you Kate Tony's done nothing but talk about you,"

"Ziva I well-

"I know," she turned and walked out.

"I think Kate can get home or where ever from here,"

"Thanks for bringing her home,"

"My pleasure," Fornell and the two agents with him left.

"Kate we really need to get your hair cut,"

"I know and I'm guessing all my stuff is gone." Abby, Tony, Tim and Gibbs nodded.

"Great," she laughed

"But that is what shopping is for to get new stuff to make a new you," Abby said

"How exactly I don't have any money unlike you lot I've been locked up in a room for the past five years," Abby bit her lip this was true. She could get Kate a couple of things but she was still paying her car loan off.

"That is what your boyfriend is for so he can spoil you," Tony said resting his chin on her shoulder. Kate smiled at him.

"You'd do that I need a lot of things Tony,"

"So long as you live with me and I get to pick a few things you can have anything your heart desires," he said winking at her.

"Is that your not so subtle way of asking me to live with you?" he nodded.

"Ok then,"

"Really?" Kate nodded.

* * *

Kate stood under the shower, letting it run over her skin she hadn't had one in so long, the soap stung her skin. The shampoo also hurt a little, she looked down at all the dirt washing down the drain. When she was washed and clean, she got out and wrapped a towel around her. She looked into the mirror she hadn't seen her face that clean in years. 

"Kate honey you ok,"

"I'm fine but Tony I don't have anything to wear," she turned as she head him turn the handle she'd locked the door on instinct.

"Hang on," she unlocked it he opened the door and smiled at her.

"I have a confession to make." She laughed and rolled her eyes.

"I kept some of your clothes; I wanted to be able to smell you when I opened my wardrobe."

"That's a little freaky," He handed her some track pants, a singlet and some panties.

"You kept my underwear Tony that's hinky," he blushed.

"Thank you," she pulled him into a kiss then pushed him out the door.

* * *

"Feeling better?" Tony asked as he saw Kate walk out, all of her hair was over one shoulder she looked clean and happy. 

"You smell a lot better,"

"Yeah I was surprised my self when you kissed me back," he winked at her and pulled her closer.

"I'd kiss you even if you had cow dung on you," he captured her lips in a kiss before she could answer.

"You taste better to," Kate laughed and sat down.

"Wait till I have lip balm on," she teased.

* * *

"Ok when was your last hair cut?" 

"About five years ago," The hair dresser almost fell over.

"What?"

"Yep kind of hard to get it cut, when you're being held hostage," Kate looked over at Abby they didn't want Tony with them at first they wanted to spend some time together. And they wanted to wow him with a change.

"Right?"

"She's not kidding mad terrorist Doctor Ari Haswari he's dead now FBI got him," Abby said looking up from the magazine she was reading.

"ok."

"We work for NCIS that's a normal day to us," The hair dresser nodded and fixed up the cape she put on Kate.

"You work for NCIS I worked for them but I don't think I want to go back."

"What you have to what am I going to do with out you?"

"Abby calm down I won't leave Washington I just think I need to slow down a bit. At least for a while and I said think I have to talk to Tony, Gibbs and the director first."

Three hours later they walked out. Kate's hair now shoulder length and cut so she had a sweeping fringe it was now chestnut brown with blonde foils. With the out fit they had bought earlier she looked totally different the brown flowing skirt came to just above her knee she wore a white boob tube top and brown flats.

"What time is it?"

"Time to give that boyfriend of yours a heart attack…oh I love saying that," Kate laughed as they headed up to the food court.

* * *

Tony sat at one of the many tables tapping his hands in a drum solo he looked up as Abby came up to him. 

"Where's Kate?" Abby grinned but said nothing.

"Right here," Tony turned around and almost fell over.

"Wow, are you sure that's my Kate," The two women rolled their eyes. Kate pulled him over and kissed him. Tony could taste the vanilla lip gloss she had on, he tried to deepen the kiss but she pulled back.

"I couldn't tell," he lent in for another kiss, Kate laughed and shook her head.

"How bout this then," she slapped his arm.

"Ouch ok, ok I get it," he looked at what she was wearing she looked amazing.

"Now can I spend sometime with you please?" he asked making puppy dog eyes at Kate who laughed.

"How bout it Ab's?" Abby shrugged.

"It's up to you if you want this strange man hanging around us," Abby laughed at the look on her friends face.

"Strange how am I strange…ok wait I know I'm a little weird but hey I could build a boat in my basement or write stories based on my friends but I don't so I don't see how I could classify as strange," Tony wrapped his arms around Kate looking at Abby as his chin rested on Kate's shoulder.

"He's got you there Ab's and yes you can come now," Tony grinned and came to her side his fingers linking into hers.

"See that…that is strange five years ago if any one had told either of you that you would be holding hands kissing and hugging you both would have laughed" Abby stated as they walked off.

"Really Abby did you not hear the first part of what I said when I first kissed Tony. Two years of holding back hello I think I would have asked you when what date and time this was going to happen and if it could be bought forward at," Kate laughed as they walked off.

"Right well then I was still getting over the shock of knowing your alive, but now it has sunk in I still find it a little strange that you two are in love" Abby said catching up to her friends.

"Well get used to it cause we wont have it anyother way."


End file.
